3 months

Well well well, Today has kicked off the third month of Dennis' deployment. It would be a lie to say that it has been easy in any way. I have tried to stay as busy as possible, hanging out with friends, working out, and work. Right now I find that focusing on me and what I want is best. Self Discovery has never been easy to me, so this time that I spend alone is in many ways a blessing in disguise.

Dennis and I are only growing closer through this deployment. Learning to communicate through words is becoming easier to us as we realize we don't get to see each other as often as we like. Dennis does have access to a web cam so we do get to see each other when he gets access to his computer.

Although seeing never satisfies the bodies yearn for touch. I find that the most difficult part of this deployment. Having lived with Dennis for over a year we were able to spend a lot of time together. Hugging, kissing, wrestling (usually over the channel changer or who gets the most popcorn) all seem so foreign right now. The feel of just having someone laying beside me in bed is a complete blur. I am at a loss of words when describing how horrible it feels knowing that you are both alone, and not enjoying yourself. But there is nothing you can really do.It pretty much.. well for lack of a better word... SUCKS!!!!!!

Dennis has been hiking all over the mountains and valleys, building decks (which he is very proud of), working out, and doing all that secret stuff that he can't tell me about. It kinda makes it difficult to talk about his work when every time I ask a question that I think would be general knowledge and he says "babe, we can't talk about that". I never know what to say afterwards. Questions such as "Did you get mail today?" End up going into a response of "no, helicopters can't fly..." What do you say to that? I normally say "WHY?" "Is something wrong, is everything ok?" "are you being safe?" "is everyone safe?" The subject gets changed and I never learn anything more than maybe next week he will get the packages.

Since Dennis left he has been working out in their make shift gym a lot! From a picture he posted on his face book his whole body has taken a different form. His once non-existent shoulders are now bulging under his shirt. and his biceps are bigger than I have ever seen them. I am pretty sure that he is going to look like a body builder when he gets back. I am not sure if I am keen on the idea, but none the less i love him. And will love him no matter what shape his body is in when he comes home..

Dennis at the gym

Dennis will be coming to Alaska towards the end of October. I am very excited!!! I can't wait to see him! We will be going to Maui for about a week or so. Depending on how much time my work will give me off.

-Shay